stop pointing, start doing

By now you’ve probably heard Gisele Bundchen’s quote from a recent magazine interview in which she said, “There should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months.” Well, this of course, caused an uproar to which she later gave an explanation of her opinion on her blog—which I feel is absolutely ridiculous. First of all, it was her opinion. Second of all, I think she’s right—no explanation necessary. Reality star/chef/author/business woman/wife/breastfeeding mother, Bethenny Frankel responded to Gisele’s comment by saying, “That’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard,” then went on to say, “Breastfeeding is one of the most rewarding experiences, but it isn’t for everyone.” That’s a shame because what a great advocate she could have been, especially for those who use their careers as an excuse not to breastfeed.

I would like to pose this question to Bethenny Frankel. Do you think it’s absurd to put your child in a car seat? I don’t want to be presumptuous, but I’m guessing your answer would be, “no.” Not only is it a law put in place for the safety and protection of children, it’s pretty much, as I read in one article, common sense and a maternal instinct for a mother to want to protect her child. You tell me what the difference is between a law mandating the use of a car seat and a law mandating breastfeeding.

These women who ridicule advocates of breastfeeding, accusing them of making them feel guilty, fit into one of three categories: 1) uneducated, 2) selfish, or 3) lazy. To those women who choose not to breastfeed, I would like you to make the following statements—out loud, holding your baby, looking directly at their face:

“I CHOOSE for you to have a weaker immune system.”

“I CHOOSE for you to have a greater risk of having chronic ear infections.”

“I CHOOSE for you to have a greater risk of having asthma.”

“I CHOOSE for you to have a greater risk of having juvenile diabetes.”

“I CHOOSE for you to have a greater risk of having childhood leukemia.”

“I CHOOSE for you to have a greater risk of dying of sudden infant death syndrome.”

THEN say, “I make this choice because ________,” and fill in the blank with your excuse for not breastfeeding. Harsh, isn’t it? Those are the facts. Hopefully, someone out there is in agreement with me. It is that serious. Do your own research. Numbers don’t lie. There is an urgent need for a movement, yet every time someone makes a statement, or breastfeeds in public, there are those of you who can’t wait to spew your negativity on those who are just doing what is right.

Does this make you angry? If so, why? Does this make you feel guilty? Well, let me share something with you. NO ONE can MAKE you feel anything. Your feelings are your own. Here’s another thing, the definition of guilt is 1) fact of having committed an offense, and 2) painful feeling that one has done wrong. If you feel guilty, then congratulations!! This means you at least know that you’ve done wrong and you’re not a heartless person without a conscience. The bad news is that you are the only one to blame, so stop pointing your finger!!

That being said, there are those who argue that there is a serious breakdown in this country’s healthcare system (with which I strongly agree) that is to blame for the low percentage of mothers who breastfeed, therefore relieving the mothers of any personal responsibility to educate themselves (with which I strongly disagree). I’ve seen this breakdown first hand, over and over again. I have yet to figure out why our hospitals and healthcare professionals are not requiring their patients to TRY breastfeeding and spending more time on education. If your ob/gyn prescribes you prenatal vitamins, you fill the prescription and you take them. If they put you on bed rest because you have a high risk pregnancy, you stay in bed. No questions asked, Dr. knows best, right? So someone explain why, if formula manufacturers themselves are printing, “breast milk is best” (as required by the International Code of Marketing of Breast-milk Substitutes), right on their labels, then why aren’t healthcare professionals requiring their patients to breastfeed?

In our country today, only 12% of women breastfeed exclusively for the first six months. And 43% of women try and either dry up or give up. That leaves 45% who are going straight to formula. I encourage everyone to do their own research on the medical issues, healthcare costs and infant mortalities that are directly connected to the lack of breastfeeding in this country. But I will share this. After the introduction of the rubber nipple in 1845, there was a dramatic increase in the use of breast milk substitutes. In 1846 there was an increase in the number of medical problems and infant mortalities directly associated with “dry nursing.” The facts were and remain the same. Breast milk is best and formula should be used ONLY as a last resort.

Our government and media are famous for using scare tactics to sway our thinking. Apparently, it’s not working in this case. Perhaps anger will work, but make sure you are channeling your anger in the right direction. Don’t get angry with me because I made you “feel guilty.” Get angry with your employer who is unwilling to accommodate your need to do the best thing for your child. Get angry with a society who looks at breasts as sexual objects rather than what their intended purpose is. Get angry with the women who are dragging you down, making believe formula is acceptable when you know it is not. Stand up for yourself, but more importantly, stand up for your child! Everyone keeps calling for a movement, but it has not yet happened. If we can’t unite as women and do what is best for our children, then perhaps the government should intervene and require women to breastfeed for six months. Women fought for the right to vote, and won. Women fought for equality in the workplace, and won. Why in the hell can’t we fight for our children’s health and lives?? We need to unite and command respect from a society that looks upon public breastfeeding with disgust. We need to unite and demand that ALL employers give adequate maternity leave and facilitate pumping once you’ve returned. Finally, we need to EDUCATE, EDUCATE, EDUCATE ourselves and everyone around us to change the way society views breastfeeding to give our children a healthier life.

NO SHAME campaign

Though I have very strong opinions when it comes to politics, the environment, and religion, I tend to keep them to myself.  A heated debate at Thanksgiving dinner is not something in which I’m likely to participate.  Everyone has their own opinions and beliefs and I believe whole heartedly that they are entitled to them.  I have NO desire to push my opinions on others (my husband excluded, of course) nor do I wish to have others push theirs upon me.  At the most, I may share my opinion with you so long as I believe it’s because you care what I think, not because you are looking to start an argument.

On occasion, I do enjoy listening to a good debate.  As previously stated, my opinions are strong, but I try to keep an open mind.  For example, I once heard an argument so strong that I was convinced a certain former political figure of ours had done something right!!  I later came to my senses, but my point is as stubborn as I can be, I like to take all sides into account.

That being said…I am taking a stance, both personally and with my business, to support public breastfeeding.  I cannot, for one moment, comprehend how or why people are offended by this.  Forget that it is a legal right.  Forget that it is moral right.  It is a BASIC HUMAN RIGHT!!  In a society with T&A out the A**, I’m astonished that there is such a controversy surrounding breastfeeding in public. 

Perhaps I wouldn’t feel so passionately about this topic had I not felt discriminated against myself.  My daughter was born in September of 2009 amidst the global pandemic of H1N1.  As you may or may not know, infants are not eligible for the vaccination until six months of age.  I have to admit, being a first time mom, my anxiety of her getting any type of illness was through the roof.  After one month of being cooped up in the house, my husband and I decided to venture out on a beautiful fall day.  It was exciting to get out and expose her to the world outside of our four walls.  And, it was a relief for me because I was beginning to feel like a trapped rat.  My fear of her contracting a virus far overshadowed any apprehension I had of feeding her in public.  We went to a strip mall, of sorts, with a book store, a fabric store and so on.  She let me and everyone else in the store know when she was hungry.  Without a thought, I went out to the backseat of my car and began to feed her.  You would have thought I was holding a pillow over her head the way people were looking at me.  It was awful.  I was in my own car and being very discreet!!  I then decided that, apparently, it was socially unacceptable and never did it again.  Well, excuse me, but that’s bullshit!!  It’s a wonder I didn’t go insane this past winter.  I confined myself to my home with the exception of she and I’s doctor’s appointments.  It mentally took a toll on me.

Know the facts.  Your doctor will tell you, the government will tell you, hell, even the formula companies will admit that breast milk is the absolute single best thing you can give to your child.  You have the legal right to breastfeed anywhere you like.  The thought that some people would suggest hiding in a public restroom to feed your baby is revolting to me.  If someone tells you this, ask them if they would like to eat in there.  Are you kidding me??  I don’t even like to use them for their intended purpose!!  The “breastfeeding in public NO SHAME campaign” is not a new or unique concept.  It’s simply another front to unite mothers and supporters to raise awareness to the public and give confidence to the women who are doing something wonderful.  They should be proud, not ashamed!!

I was, and still am, very naïve about pregnancy, motherhood, and everything that goes along with it.  By no means am I claiming to be an expert.  I learn something new every day.  All I can do is share my own experience in hopes that it will help others.  I will continue to share articles and blogs on this topic.  The best advice I can give is to educate and surround yourself with the support of other mothers.  You are not alone!! 

Please join us on facebook to show your support!! 

May 18, 2010 11:00 AM edit